Malcolm Gauld
Yeah, I’m an unabashed quote junkie. Been collecting, saving, and discarding them most of my life.
Of the 5 currently inhabiting my mental and emotional wheelhouse, two are originals. The other three come from a preacher, an advice columnist, and a popular game show panelist, all deceased. Starting with the two originals…
1. “Beats dyin'”
This one capsulizes my Cancer #2 experience in the shortest number of words possible. Hey, there’s no getting around it: the whole experience is fraught with the stuff of endless suckage: e.g., chemo, adjusting to life with a urostomy bag, side effects upon side effects, miles and miles of red tape generated by our health care system. (P. J. O’Rourke: “If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free.”) But, to all of those things, I say, “Beats dyin.'” It’s flippant. It’s morbid. It’s also true.
2. “It’s amazing what you can do once you accept… make that, fully accept… that you have no other choice.”
This one goes hand-in-hand with #1. Among the oodles of friends who have reached out to me during the past 9 months, a number have said something to the effect of, “I could never handle this the way you have.” My response: “Yeah, you could. And you would. Because you’d have to. And, besides… It beats dyin!”
I mean, off the top of my head, I can easily think of three things better than dyin’:
Heck, here’s three more:
3. “Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers; pray for powers equal to your tasks.”
Stole this one from 19th century clergyman Phillips Brooks (1835-93). Rather than ask for a different set of circumstances, better to ask for a different set of attitudes. I’ll cop to asking for both at various times during the past nine months, but I try to remember that I do indeed have a fair amount of control over one of them.
4. “People with integrity expect to be believed. If not, they let time prove them right.” – Ann Landers (1918-2002)
A former student recently laid this one on me. Over the years, countless Hyde kids have asked me to explain the term “trust the process.” My standard response has been something along the lines of: “Whatever you’re really doing is how you will ultimately be known. But you’ve gotta stay in the batter’s box until it all plays out.” I’ve hereby decided that Ann Landers’ explanation is better than mine. (Anyone out there remember Ann Landers?)*
This brings me back to Donnie Small ’69. A fellow Bath boy, he was a Hyde senior when I was a freshman. Good guy. To everyone. Went on to Ithaca College where he had to be the first Hyde alum to row crew. From there he became a Merchant Marine Engineer before returning home to Bath where his story gets, shall we say, interesting. Speaking of the batter’s box… Shortly after Donnie died in 2009, the city of Bath named the local Little League field complex after him:
Although I’d stop and say “Hey” to him when we’d see each other around town — and he was a regular at Hyde’s hoop appearances at the Augusta Civic Center — I had no idea that he had spent decades dedicated to coaching Bath Little Leaguers. I now regularly run into guys who were coached by him and have appreciatively carried his lessons into their adult lives. I also think about him every time I tee off on Bath GC’s majestic third hole where friends have also honored him. To be clear, I never knew anyone to question Donnie’s integrity, but his example lives on thanks to the magic that can happen when integrity and character combine with time.
5. “Trouble is a sieve through which we sift our acquaintances. Those too big to pass through are our friends.” – Arlene Francis (1907-2001)
When I look at the top of my sieve, not sure what to make of it. Do I have an unusal percentage of “big” friends? Are the holes of my sieve especially small? Either way, I see an embarrassment of riches across the top. Thanks. Many Thanks. And, backatchya.
Onward, Malcolm
* In order to understand the cultural phenomenon that was Ann Landers and other advice columnists, the historian/musicologist in me cannot help but recommend John Prine’s (1946-2020) classic song “Dear Abby.” Although actually an ode to Ann Landers’ main competitor — Fun Fact: who happened to be her twin sister! — during the era of the advice columnist when newspapers ruled the media, Mr. Prine captures that whole scene’s vibe as only he could. Check it out.
